Love Letter

Yosef 


Lily & I discovered love notes to 6th-grade Yosef spilled out across the dining room table from his backpack. 
This one was presented in a short-answer quiz format: 


"Yosef,

I just want to ask 3 questions.  All you have to do is circle 
one of the answers on the questions then give this to me at lunch.
You don't have to write, just circle.  It may be more than 3.

1.  Do you hate me:  YES  NO 
    [He circled yes]

2. Do you think of me as friend or really good friend:  FRIEND     REALLY GOOD FRIEND
    [he wrote in BAD and circled BAD FRIEND.]

3. Do you like me?   YES    NO
    [he wrote NEVER and circled it]

4.  Do you hate me even more for doing this and not leaving you alone?   YES   NO
    [he added A LOT and circled YES A LOT]

If 3 is a yes then I don't want a relationship yet. 
Just good friend, no boyfriend.
I just want to let you know that I know Emma likes you and you probably like her, but
at random times during the day your face pops up in my head and I MISS YOU!  I miss the friendship
we had!  [He wrote in "WHEN WAS THAT?"]  I can't stop thinking about you and I hate myself because of it.
[He inserted, "COOL." ] 
I am so sorry and this is the last time you will hear from me.  I will stay out of your life for good.
[He inserted "YES!!!"]
Just give this back at lunch.

from,
Madison"   [not her real name]
    
_________________

The next morning I stopped him on the way out the door to the bus stop.
"Yo, you are NOT giving that letter to Madison."
"What?  Why?"
"It will hurt her feelings!"
"So?"
"Yosef, the only way you can give this note to Madison is if you do it with a big laugh and say, 'Here, this is a joke.'"
"OK," he said.
"I mean it."
"OK."
So he didn't give her the note. 

But the poor girl!  Her romantic intentions are completely lost on this lean, athletic, five-foot-seven-inch sixth-grader whose heart has been given away already to Britain's Arsenal soccer team.